FINRIR AKA "FINN"
This is the only soul I ever got to raise. The closest I’ll ever come to fatherhood.
His name was Finrir—but we all called him Finn.
He was named after the Norse demi-god, Fenrir—the son of Loki.
The original Fenrir was said to bring about the end of the world.
But my Finrir?
He only brought about the end of mine.
He was everything.
Joyful. Gentle. Loyal to the bone.
He stood beside me through the darkest chapters of my life.
He never judged.
Never questioned.
He just stayed.
He just loved.
He was there when no one else was.
Without my emotional support animal, I am lost.
Like a man stumbling through the woods, searching for himself.
So that’s exactly what I plan to do—
get lost in the woods,
get lost in myself,
in order to find my way back.
I know he’ll be with me—every mile, every mountain.
My spirit guide. My compass. My reason.
I once told myself that when he passed,
I’d walk the Spine of America.
I just didn’t realize how soon that promise would come calling.
Now he lights the way.
He is the sun breaking through the trees,
the whisper in the wind that tells me to keep moving.
This journey is for him.
To find myself again.
To find the courage to step into a new day—a new life.
He loved me to the very end.
And I loved him just the same.
He loved mountains,
so I will scatter his ashes along the 2,198.4 miles of the Appalachian Trail—
returning him to the wild he was born to roam.
Releasing my son back to the Earth.
Releasing him.
Letting go.
And walking forward.
